story about a little girl

down down down~

2010-09-21T02:49:00.000-07:00

long time no post hehe hello everyone :) well, i'm a little bit down now

. hemmmm lemme tell you what happen to me lately.

1. finally i'm in a relationship te-hee :D with my friends brother, he's really nice, kind, mature, care etc. this is the first time i have a relationship with someone with different age (at first i'm scared haha) now i really thanks to god that i find him. to tell you the truth, this type of boy is rare O.O seriously, i'm not joking ahahaha i'll try my best to keep this relationship :) ps : he was really patient with me ckckck

2. i went to my hometown, Bondowoso last week. it's nice to meet all of your family at Ied Fitri hehe btw there is an unexpected occurrence, my uncle was died precisely at the time of Eid :( anyway, sorry if i had mistake with you guys, let's reborn as the new person :)

3. i attend korean audition, the first is NEGA ent (BEG) at sultan hotel and yesterday SM ent (SUJU) via online audition. stupid me, i'm late sending the videos and the form.... :'( next 23, there are some audition again but...i dont have any strength to try again T.T and now i feel traumatic, even................. i think i'm sick of korean things huhu :'( idk what i must do, a lot of people is support and begging me but i just need my own time -,-

4. holiday is over today andschools start tomorrow! well, i hope i can be more diligent and study hard. seriously, idk where i must go after high school. i'm sick thinking and wondering about univ and college majors i must choose :( i.... dont know and i dont think i have skill to do this huhuhu :c

5. SICK! omg, all member of my family except my mom is getting sick right now --" i have spot in all my body, my brother is campak and my dad got fever. they must do blood test T.T hu i cant sleep with my brother then -,- lets hope we can recover quickly hehe :D

well, when i'm upset, down etc, i just need my own time, to think, to hear a song, to makes myself happy. just that hahaha. but sometimes, i just online, seeing picture in tumblr, watching korean video, reading comics and else. just simle things to make my mood come back -,- ah! i really want to say thanks to my Bf because of him i can be happy again ehe kansahamnida *bow. these is some picture i found in tumblr, enjoy!

finally

2010-07-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures that I found which might represent my feelings right now

yes, the new school year, new beginnings, everything new, I opened my eyes, into a new world and eventually found a bright spot in my new world. no more sad song no more tears fall down. i was the new me

I sometimes feel that feeling. I do not lie to my own feelings. I still love you. but I'm just trying to open a new leaf of my life. not forget you, i still cant but i'll try to become better people. I'll try to keep my eyes to not look for you anymore.................

I'm still looking for a man who will truly love myself because who i am. I do not know how long it will take some time because it is very difficult nowadays to find men who are really good. I'm not ready for a new commitment. I do not want to have a relationship that only kidding

I am a person who does not easily forget the memories. I really hate ending. I know, nothing is forever. but why people so easily forget something that previously was our beloved? frankly, I would cry because of the separation. as much as possible I will always maintain that memory, the memory still lives within us. and I will never forget the memories are precious to me

and now I'm free. no one rein me. although there is a burden, but I really feel free. no more fear of losing a boyfriend, jealous, and others. I want to do whatever I liked. for me, now there's only family and close friends. they will not betrayed me. thanks for being something worthwhile in my life, without you, i'm nothing

now I have found my true self, how my nature, how my goals, how the motto of my life, and whom are the people who really loved me. I'm childish, I'm whiny, I easily get angry, but that's me. I'm me. however myself, I love myself as is. thank you to all who have loved me like this. I love you

although I do not know where I need this turned my feet where, all I could do right now continues to run ahead, to face tomorrow to come. whether good or bad things will happen, I can only deal with it, no time to hide and avoid the problem. I hope I can find happiness in the future. wish me luck

ohya, i find a song which related with my condition right now too :

This Is Me – Demi Lovato (Camp Rock OST)
I’ve always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I’ve got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I’m gonna let it show, it’s time
To let you know
To let you know
This is real, this is me
I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I’ve found, who I am
There’s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
Do you know what it’s like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about a life
Where you’re the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it’s too far away
I have to believe in myself
It’s the only way
This is real, This is me
I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I’ve found, who I am
There’s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You’re the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I’m singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you
You’re the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you, I gotta find you
This is real, this is me
I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I’ve found, who I am
There’s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You’re the missing piece I need
The song inside of me (this is me)
You’re the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I’m singing
Now I’ve found, who I am
There’s no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

i really love this song, idk why............ maybe IT'S ME :')

did boys think like this when broke up?

2010-04-12T01:16:00.000-07:00

I don't want to have to see you happy.
I can't even bare to see you smile.
Now-a-days I can't look in your eyes &...
Well I can but it takes a while
¯If you're strong?
Told a lot of white lies to hide it all.
But they're beginning to break me down,
Though I promise it's over now.

I'm gone.
I don't blame you at all.
'Cause after all the things that you did for me
Got beaten by temptation
I'm gone.
Girl you're better off alone.
I don't want you to see, the truth in me.

Try my best to keep it all together.
Tryna take it back to where we were.
Never been to good at keeping secrets,
Give you reasons but for what it's worth
Lemme go.
What the hell would make you look at me the same?
Used to say "We're unbrakeable."
But I just went & changed it all.

If I told you?
Could you live with that?
If I told you?
Could you live with that?
If I told you,
I couldn't live with that! I couldn't live with that!
Noooo!
I'd rather give you no excuses at all.

I'm gone.
I don't blame you at all.
'Cause after all the things that you did for me
Got beaten by temptation
I'm gone.
Girl you're better off alone.
I don't want you to see, the truth in me.

You gave everything & honestly it's every fault of mine.
To beg you for forgiveness just seems wrong.
See, leaving you is one thing
But you've got to realize:
Some things are best unspoken
So please don't ask me why!

Oh, you don't want to know
Oh, woah

I'm gone.
I don't blame you at all.
'Cause after all the things that you did for me
Got beaten by temptation
I'm gone.
Girl you're better off alone.
I don't want you to see, the truth in me.

Jay sean - i'm gone

hope

2010-03-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

i hope this time nobody see this post, i just want to share what i'm feeling, i dont allowed people know what inside my heart.............

now, everything changed, everyone changed, too much problem come and come and i must face that, and too much thing i must fix, its too hard for me because it come in the same time, when i'm really down like this, and all of that problem make my mental going down and down...... i miss the past, i miss my 'old' me, a lot of people said that i'm changed, yes, i agree with them, now i'm becoming a quite person, always keep what i'm feeling inside, and always crying because my uselessness...... dad, i miss the old you, a father who really care to me and everynight always come to my room and check i already sleep or not, not a dad who always blame and angry to me, and shout a deep words, i'm ghina dad, not my brother, we're different, dont look me from my score, but look at the way i am :'( mom, i dont want we always fight and fight like this, i love both of you, but your deep words really hurt me badly :'( now i really feel lonely, at night i always come to my brother room to sleep with him because i'm lonely.. i must study hard because my score drop really down......... i cannot consentrate and focus, i'm thinking about one person, a person i love..... like where is he? is he already study or not? is he can smile and laugh? is he already find another or not? is he happy with his condition now? i know i'm nothing, i just want to support him, the time which i can meet him is only like 3-4 month before he move.... afterthat, we cannot meet each other anymore. like you said before, yeah its hurt my self badly but i prefer hurt and i can see your smile, your happiness, i dont know what you feel about me, maybe you angry and annoyed with me but....... i accept that :') i really thanks to god i still can meet you, you still know what's new in me like my ponny haha small things but means big for me. i deactive my twitter because didnt want to see your timeline, but what? i still do that -.- stupid me, and when i read it, i smile, i think you've already find another, i dont know that tweet for who, but i hope you're happy and wish your target is good enough for you, so she didnt hurt you :') i really want to greet her and told to not hurt you. truthly, its hurt, i know someday i must 'ikhlas' its hard but i must try...... idk my fb account was error or not but did you blocked me? if its yes, its okay, no problem. its my first time to be like this, i always pray for you happiness, idk what happen next, what i can do is watching you from a far way, wish for your happiness and i'm purely want to help your score better. no one know what inside my heart until its unlock. time goes on, i cannot tell anyone, i already know what they will say if i tell them, now i'm alone, always keep alone and tears always falling down until my eyes was hurt -.- i just dont want to make all of my friends worried, i know they all have a lot of problem too, so i dont want to make more, i'm alone, now i'm really easy to sick, and really easy to crying, i dont want to angry to everyone, i just keep my anger inside my heart and then crying, i just dont want to make them hurt..... now i dont have power, i'm not a strong person, i'm tired, really really tired :( nobody know how deep is my hurt. i need someone to lean on, but who? i just can keep quite for all of my problem and at least, patient.........................................

letter to you

2010-03-01T08:32:00.000-08:00

so now i know where my position in your heart, thanks for your kindness for didnt want to hurt me, i appreciate that, you're kind, really, i feel warm when i still with you, you're the best boyfriend i ever had, its the first time i feel i loved by someone, eventhough you more young than me you give me a deep memories in my hearts although only 2 month :') i know life must be go on, nothing can be forever, maybe i'm too much, but i really love you from my heart, i want to take care of you, i want to barrier you, i still want to be with you, but................................. its only my ego, i cant do anything, i dont want to treatened you, i must give you a freedom. fyi, when i write this, i'm crying haha... i want to show you that i'm strong but what? i'm crying again -,- i'll try my best to be stronger again, sorry for disturbing you for 2 month, i'll keep our memories warmly in my heart, i wont forget you, stupid me to hope we can be like before, i still love you, more and more but maybe its time for me to pass you away, to someone heart, maybe................ haha truthly, i'm always looking for your facebook profile and idk why i always felt jealous.... i always looking for you, waiting for you, but when i know your words 'i dont want to hurt her' serously, my hope flew away.............. i dont know where my hope goes by, thanks for everything and your kindness.. for last, i love you m.luqman budhi prasetya :') please, searching a good girl and improve your score for me too.... i only want to seeing you happy. idk what to do, because its my first time really in love with someone, not 'want to keep someone for us', maybe i must try my best to search another boy, but now i cant :'( only you in my mind, and i know you want to move to another school, it means we can be apart, cannot seeing each other, when first i know that, i really want to ask to you to dont move, remember your promise? but at least, no words can off from my mouth, its your choice, i'll miss you, take care kiddo, me love you.......:') ----> 111209 - 220210♥

song at the moment

2010-02-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

Vanilla Twilight lyrics
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

curcol -,-

2010-02-19T03:58:00.003-08:00

have you ever had an experience small things becoming big or maybe giant? or maybe small problem but the the time to solve that is too long? or hmmmmmmm you have a bad day and want to tell someone precious for you for sharing but the answer is didnt match with your feeling and after that you have an argument and the time to solve that problem eventhough both of them already appologize each other is too long? all i can do only crying, if i can wish to god, i want my tears was dry so i cant crying in front of you and i dont disturbing you. i didnt know your problem and i want to know, i want to help you, maybe i'm useless but i want to try my best to help you, in every aspect. sigh, i'm like zombie haha waiting for your message always waiting, didnt want to eat, asking your friends you already go home or not haha you can say i'm too much, but i only worried about you, all i can do now is waiting until your problem is solved and waiting for you to tell me what happended, idk what i can do for you, but if you need me, just ask, i'll be there for you. for last, i really miss you, i want to said this to you : do you miss me? haha stupid me to hope you will read this :p okay now i must go back to my f*cking karya tulis karena besok sidang jengjengjeng tegang banget sumpah, ini lebih susah dibanding keliatannya, wish me luck my little kiddo :) *i miss someone who always pinch my cheek hahahaha

new year wohooooo!

2010-01-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

sumpah ini gue telat bgt ngupdate blog ini ahahaha maaf ya :p gue mau nyeritain new year gue nih hehehe :3 jadiiii gue iqbal nadya lalala kan mau ngerencanain bikin new year party kan, pertama tuh rencananya mau dirumah gue, terus ganti lagi kerumah iqbal eh gara2 adhi sama arga gabisa mau diganti lg ke rumah arga adoh rebek bener ye hahaha finally jadinya semua dirumahnya iqbal, nah laluuuuu kan kita disuruh bawa makanan dll gue bikin pudding coctail hehe :D terus iqbal bikin spagetti ala emaknya haha jadi plannya gini, iqbal siang2 ke pim jemput luqman aji sama nalend (tiba2 jundi gajadi ikut) terusterus baiq sama gisel kerumah gue terus kita cao bareng kerumah iqbal, lulu kerumah nadya jadi mereka bareng kerumah iqbalnya terus arga sama adhi gajadi ikutttt, sumpah maaf bgt ya kalian akhirnya malah gajadi ikut! >.< udah kan siang2nya gue beli bahan2 di giant bintaro eh tiba2 ketemu iqbal! hahaha padahal kita sama2 blgnya mau belanja di carefour :p terus udah kan plg masak puding trs baiq dateng tinggal nunggu gisel, yang bikin gua panik apaaaaaaaaaa! tiba2 iqbal sms, GHIN LUQMAN NYA MANA? DIA GABISA DIHUBUNGIN SEMUA UDAH PADA NGUMPUL NIH DI PIM! gue siyok O.O apa mungkin luqman gadateng jegerjegerjeger padahal gue udah nanti2 bgt new year brg dia, sumpah jujur2an ajanih gue gapernah new year ngerayain bareng temen/pacar mangkanya gue excited bgtttttt, terus gue udah panik kan, gue telfon luqman gadiangkat juga, trs baiq blg ghin telfon pake hp gue DIANGKAT! tapi langsung mati lg -___- terus iqbal tlfn lagi, gimana nih ghin? udah jam segini gue udah pasrah kan..... gue blg yaudah deh bam lo plg aja sama yg lain mungkin luqman gajadi ikut...... terus udah kan gue disuruh mandi sama baiq trs selese mandi gue disms luqman dia minta maaf gajadi dateng bonyoknya ngga ngebolehin gitu :'( huweeee langsung nangis gua haha udah kan baiq nenangin gue terus gisel dateng rebek bener deh tuh nungguin gue nangis haha gisel nyuruh dandan ngeritingin rambut dll gue blg ngapain dandan sama keritingin rambut.... luqmannya gada :'( udaaah sini gue keritingin rambut lo. terus gue telfon iqbal blg luqman gadateng sambil nangis2 huuuu satu hal yang gue bingung iqbal pertama pas nelfon blg dia lagi bareng nalend eh pas telfon ke2 dia blg gue nyari nalend dulu ya ghin? terus kan udah nungguin bokap gue plg, terus cabut ke rumah iqbal, udah kan masuk tuh kekamarnya, anak2 udah pada ngumpul, gue mandeeek aja dipojokan haha disuruh selimutan sama anak2 dikarenakan 'sesuatu' wkwkwk :p terus nalend nanya : luqmannya mana ghin? gue blg auk ah, gadateng kali TIBA TIBA JENGJENGJENGJENG ADA LUQMAN DEPAN MATA GUA O.O sumpah demi apa sumpah demi apaaaaaaaaaaa anjir malu abis gue udah nangis2 gt anak2 pada ketawa semua sumpah maluuuu!!!! muka gue merah abis hahaha katanya ini ide iqbal sama nadya gilegile gokil parah hahahaha mana katanya kan mereka kumpul dulu dirumah nadya nah luqman tuh disana dieeeeeeeem terus takut gue beneran marah sama dia hahaha lucu bgt sih kamu yang :p udah kan gue ke luqman he he he :D biasa, pacaran wakakak anak2 udah pada biasa liat gue pacaran haha terus udah kan kita ol ketawa2 foto2 gitu lah, pas udah mendekati jam 12 kita main kembang api&petasan beeh cowo gue anak kecil nya keluar hahahaha girang bgt dia main petasankekumpul duit 300rb apa kalo gasalah nah itu dapet petasan kembang api banyak abiss, anak2 cowo seneng abis mainnya hahaha yang paling so sweet ini menurut gue he he he kan udah jam 12 tuh terus pada blg happy new year happy new year gt terus luqman nyamperin gue blg happy new year ya sayang semoga taun depan bisa kayak gini lagi hehe sambil meluk gue terus nyium gue hehe baiq nadya langsung nangissss keinget cowo dan mantan mereka uuu sedih :< terus abis capek main petasan kembang api kita makan spagetti dan pudding hahaha gue nyiapin coctail nya kan eeeeeeeh tangan gue berdarah kena kalengnya T.T sakit bgt huhu mana gue teriak2 gara2 kucingnya iqbal lg haha terus ditawarin jagung sama sosis bakar dari tetangga depan hehe terussss iqbal blg eh ada motor 2 nih nganggur muter2 yuk! nadya nalend iqbal aji ganti2an muter2 naik motor sedangkan gue berduaan boncengan sama luqman HAHA :p seneng bgt sumpah, terus kan udah muter2 mereka mau kerumah dina hadilana coba -_- errrr haha terus udah kan beli minuman dll di dian mart ah sumpah seru abis gaberenti2 ketawa terus, yang cowo2 pada nginep semua di rumah iqbal, tapi gue udah ditelfon bokap disuruh plg jam 2 :( terus akhirnya udah kan plg, kata iqbal, aji tidur sama luqman, kak razhka sama nalend, terus ya kita merencakan pagi2nya mau berenang dll tapi akhirnya tepar semua haha akhirnya cuma ke mesjid solat jumat terus ke mcd tapiiii sumpah ya ini the best new year i ever had!!!!! and one more thing, i loveyou so much luqman xoxo♥♥

and this is the picture :D

AND SORRY FOR LATE BUT HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL WISH 2010 GIVE US THE BEST! :D

my 111209♥

2009-12-11T21:27:00.000-08:00

i have a new boyfriend!!!!!! namanya m.luqman b prasetya! meski umurnya beda setaun 15 hari sama aku, its okaaaaaay :3 ehe he he pasti pada ga nyangka gue jadian sama dia, secara adek kelas, gada angin gada apa tiba2 deket terus kita baru kenal seminggu - 2 minggu hahaha truthly gue udah merhatiin dia udah lama bgt cuma sekedar suka aja jadi begini lah ceritanya :

hari kamis 2 minggu laluuu kan gue mau moving class ke agama tuh nah ternyata itu lg kelasnya dia kan gue disuruh sama temen gue ngeliat gurunya siapa gitu kan pintu nya kebuka gituuu, gurunya ga keliatan eh malah keliatan luqmannya, aku ngeliatin dia kan hehehe ganteng, ga nyangka dia ngeliatin aku jg, terus terus udah kan tuh kls anak2 nya keluar, trs pas dia lewat sebelah aku aku sama dia liat2an terussssss aku ngmng sendiri kan eh ganteng deh yg tadi namanya siapa sih? haha terus temen2 aku pada blg yang pake kacamata ya ghin? td dia ngeliatin lo juga lho, terus ada temen gue namanya Andhira dan Reiva, yang ngomong oh? yg itu ghin? itu namana Luqman kls 10d adeknya pacarnya Febby terus gue oooh hahaha udah kan gue ngobrol gt sama temen2 gue eeeeeeeeh tiba2 Andhira sama Reiva manggil dan pas gue nengok gue shock Luqman ada dikelas gue! parahparahparah malu bgt muka gue merah gaberani ngadep belakang lg! aaaaaaaaaa trstrs kan gue pelajaran agama tuh nama gurunya bu diah nah kebetulan ini bu diah itu wali kelasnya luqman nah mulai lah Ocho dan Andhira memulai aksinya -_- ocho : bu bu, ibu wali kls 10d kan ya bu? bu diah : iyaa emgnya kenapa? andhira : ada yang mau nitip salam nih buuuuuuu bu diah : ohya? siapaaaa? hehe andhira + ocho : GHINA BUUUUUUUUU (wanjrit gue malu bgt) bu diah : waaah ghina mau nitip salam sama siapa? Andhira + Ocho : LUQMAN BUUUUUUUUUUU bu diah : waaah ghin jgn sama dia ghin, udah byk bgt yg nitip salam sama dia, pada blg gini ke ibu, bu bu luqmannya plg sekolah jgn kemana2 ya buuu jagain ya bu gue : -________- dan ternyata emg bener loh baik angkatan gue dan angkatan dia tuh byk bgt yg blg dia ganteng dan suka sama dia hem

pulang sekolaah gue ke sigit beli makanan kaan gasengaja ketemu icha sama ressie terus gue iseng2 nanya ke icha : cha kamu kls 10 apa? icha : kelas 10d kak hehehe gue (nanya ke nadya) : nad nad tanya ga nih nad? icha : pasti kakak mau cerita ttg L deh (sambil tangannya bikin huruf L) gue : AAAAH KOK KAMU TAU? icha : iya kaaak td dia cerita gt sama aku hehehe :D gue : demi apa demi apa? dia cerita gmn cha? icha: iyaaa kak, kakak jgn blg2 tapi ya dia sebenernya udah ngefans sama kakak dari lamaa tp dia lg bingung sekarang kakk dia lg deket sama anak alpus1 juga nah dia bingung mau deketin kakak apa dia -____-

laluu saya ke sol kembali berkumpul dengan yang lain nah disitu gue diajak beli leker sama Aji Andhira dan Emil yaudaaah eh eh tiba2 ditengah jalan kita mendapati Luqman sedang bersama seorang cewe dan yg bikin gue syok ternyata itu sodara gue!!!! omg hahahaha yaudah kan gue nyapa ngobrol2 sama sodara gue dan gue bener2 kaget tau dia lg deket sama luqman yaudah gue berniat mau mundur karna tidak mau slek sama sodaraku tersayaaaang eh tapi entah mengapa malah dia yg mundur huhu

laluuu pada malam harinya gue sedang membaca komik dan mendapati bb gue menyala dgn notification baru fb gue dan gue bener2 kaget pas liat luqman prasetya ngirim message gitu O.o dia blg hey kak haha ternyata dia udh ngeadd fb gue dari lama tapi ga gue confirm karna kemalasan gue membuka friend request hahahaha yaudah akhirnya kita ngobrol2 dan tiba2 saya tidak tahu darimana dia mendapatkan msn saya terussss kita chat nah tiba2 dia nyuruh gue minta nomer dia terus sms dia malem2 supaya jadi org pertama yg sms dia ngucapin happy birthday yaudaah akhirnya gue sms kan nah mulai deh tuh sms2 terus pulang sekolah kita ketemuan terusssss ngobrol2 bareng mulai di belakang mesjid sol lantai 6 meja piket kantin dll hahahah

terus ya kan kita lg UAS nih sekarang terus dia kemaren cuma 1 pelajaran gituuu dia nungguin gue plg gitu soalnya gue 2 pelajaran udah kan ketemu gtgt terus temen2 gue pad mau keratplaz dia nyuruh gue masuk tp gue gaenak kan masa dia udh nungguin gue gue tinggal alhasillll dia diculik sama gue dan teman2 dan you must know itu jazz isi 9 orang -__- hahahah parbeudh itu pangku2an, anak2 pertama nyuruh gue dipangku luqman tp malu woy!!!!! alhasil gue di pangku oneng meskipun dengan triak2an wkwkwkw luqmannya diem muluuuu dia blg gaenak adek kls sendiri haha pertama ke ps kan anak2 cowo pada solat jumat gituuu nah gue nadya oneng di mobil eh gue ketiduran haha terus mulai dari situ gue dipangku luqmannnnn gue tidur di pundak dia hehe :p dia nyubitin pipi gue mulu sampe merah, dasar anak iseeeeng haha terus udah kan ke raplaz, di ratplaz muter2 benerin konmputer nyari silikon bb main ps 3 dll nah disini gue kesel mbak2 dvd gitu ngeliatin luqman dgn tatapan mesum arrrrrrrgh -______- kadang2 kalo lg jalan luqman ngerangkul gue atau megang kepala gue terus disenderin di bahu dia :p terus udah kan kita mau cao ke fx tapi KITA GABOLEH MASUKKKK ih ngeselin bangettt padahal udah ganti baju dll parah deh parah hahaha mana si Lia kbergonya ilang lagi terus dia ditransbin turun trs minjem bergo nyamperin kita ke fx gitu hahaha alhasil udah kan kita ke sency makan dll gituuu oia sepanjang perjalanan gue dan luqman di cie2in dikerjain terus -_- terusterus udah sore kan tuuuuh kita mau balik deh ke alpus, gue pokoknya di jalan tuh tidur terus dibahu nya luqman (yah dikarenakan sindrom gue dari kecil gakuat 5 menit dimobil abis itu pasti tidur hehe) nah pas udh mau deket lampu merah luqman tiba2 bisikin gue gitu 'eh ghin mau jadi cewe gue ngga?' gue diem natep dia dia blg lagi : jawab sekarang! gue seneng bgt, gue bilang iya sambil meluk dia gitu (dalem posisi pangkuan coba parah ye haha) terus2 luqman nyium pipi gue :3 terus gue manggil nadya : naddddddd nadya : apa? gue : gue jadian lho! nadya : oh hehe HAAAAAAAAH? ANAK2 SHOCK SEMUA HAHAHA perjalanan ke alpus jd heboh bgt mereka triak2 seneng gt gue yg jadian mereka yg seneng ya hahaahah terus lagi sepi gitu kann hahaha gue sama luqman lg ngobrol dengan polosnya luqman ngmng gini : ah dasar lo anak kecil EH KAMU ahahaha anak2 tambah hebooooooh pada ketawa2 lucu gemes gitu hihihi seneng banget!!!!!muhammad luqman budhi prasetya iloveyousomuch ♥
(mmm foto yg terakhir byk bgt aib nya haha -_-)

Birthday Blast!

2009-11-18T06:50:00.000-08:00

♥ 15 November 2009 ♥

SURPRISE PARTYYYYY! wawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww i really really thanks to God who give me a birthday like this, thankyou soooo much all of my FRIENDS! ♥ ♥ ♥ maybe for other people its only like 'oh' but for me its 'OH' hahaha LOL :p now i wanna tell you us besties who gimme this precious birthday :
Yania, Baiq, Anggi, Gisela, Bidary, Sesha, Utha, Rana Adel & Dimas
and then
Iqbal, Nadya, Arisa, Dewi, Nurul, Razhka, Vika, Emil, Rima, Jundi, Dina atharia, Arga, Ola, & Zara
and last but not least my ILP friends!
Chiki, Ericko, Hilda, Vado, Gery

and here's the photo :
story about the above photo :
jadi gue diajak keluar sama nyokap gue ke btc beli kue2 dan tumben2nya nyokap gue ngajak ngeliat2 baju dll buat belanja, sebenernya dari malem sebelumnya gue udah curiga soalnya anggi nanya nomer nyokap gue dan pas nyampe rumah gue melihat ada mobil misterius di depan rumah tp gue gatau itu mobil siapa nah pas gue masuk rumah tambah heranlah gue melihat bokap gue pake baju pergi padahal biasanya kaos celana pendek doang nah pas gue buka pintu kamar gue tararara keluarlah para kurcaci2 bawa kue anjrit kaget gue hahaha soalnya gue kira dikerjain jam 12 -,- terus mata gue ditutup dan pas diluar rumah....... shit gue diceplokin hahaha bersama tepung air kopi dan telor saya bermandikan diluar rumah ckckck mana si gisel sama yania gamau dikanin lg cuh curang kaliannnnnnnn :p tapi tak papa deh hehehe terus akhirnya sesha rana dimas adel datang dan kita ke mcd sekbil bersama sama haha disana ada echay dan ipung juga :)

story about the above photos :
jadi gue kan sinematografi dulu, ngomongin buat bikin film buat festifal film besok nah gue kira yg lain pada bimbel, gue kan biasanya balik sama Iqbal sama Nadya nah Iqbal dateng ke ruang kimia tempat kumpul sinematografi trs dia tiba2 blg "Ghina gue plg duluan yaaaaa dadahhh" langsung ngacir gitu aja, gue panik kan kalo gada mereka gue balik gmnnn!!! terus gue langsung izin balik duluan trs nyusul ditengah jalan ketemu Rima sama Emil terus mereka ngajak gue ke kantin nyuruh duduk gue udh panik kan mana gue telfonin ga diangkat2 -___- terus Rima ngmng yg dalem2 gitu a a a a a terus tiba2 dari belakang pada bawa 21 cupcakes aaaaa so cute bgt serius deh dan tiba2 muka gue dicemongin dan rambut gue dan seragam gue jg korban hoalah -_- terus akhirnya gara2 Rima semuanya pada lari2an kejar2an nyemongin muka anak2 ahahaha seru bgt terus ujan niat gue yg mau traktir semua nya batal deh tp gue seneng bgttt bener2 ganyangka :3

story about the above photos :
ahahaha gue udh panik pas Ericko ngmng mau bawa kue buat nyemongin gue atau tepung atau telor buat ceplokin gue di bbm tapi syukurnya ngga hihihi untungnya pas cko ngmng ke vado vado ga denger hahaha :D di sini akhirnya beli papa ronz aja sama pocari sweat buat di kelas akhirnya pizza party deh hehehe ini the best kelas bgt gue sayang bgt sama nih kelassss : Gue, Chiki, Hilda, Ericko< Vado & Gery (Y) + + Mr. Juna :p (Y)(Y)

so its my story about my birthday this years, i cant wait for my next birthday its sweet seventeen! haha annnnnnd i receive a present from Baiq is DVD Super Junior Super Show!!! omg she's really know me! love you my hushband! and then a big teddy bear from my child, Rana, and then a pillow from Sesha and gantungan kunci keroro!!!! from Yanchan ooooh its really cute! and a bracelette from Malik and mmm i forget ahahaha sorry :p and at last! i cant wait for Baiq's birthday! its my chance to take a revenge!!!!!!!!!! siap2 aje lu iq hahaha see you in me next post, byeeeeeeeeeeeeee xoxo :3

i'm just thinking about it in my spare time hmm -,-

2009-10-24T02:25:00.000-07:00

hey gue lagi bosen banget gada kerjaan di hari saptu ini dan entah kenapa tiba2 pikiran gue blank dan gue jadi memikirkan tentang kehidupan gue, apa yang udah gue jalanin selama ini, mungkin kalo diantara kalian yang mikir baca postingan gue kali ini bakal berpendapat 'apasih tua banget pikiran lo' haha gapapa kok itu hak kalian :)

gue mikir sebenernya hidup cuma gini2 aja kan? liat deh hidup cuma kayak film doang, ada permulaan, masalah dan penyelesaian. kayak kita pacaran kan? temenan, pacaran, putus, sekolah pada dasarnya gue mikir cuma formalitas aja, cuma begitu gue pandang lebih jauh ini buat kita sendiri nanti, gue sadar semakin gue banyak belajar gue semakin menyadari semakin dikit yang gue tau berarti selama ini, kehidupan juga, cuma lahir, menjalani kehidupan dan meninggal gtgt doang kan intinya? cuma yang terpenting bagaimana kita memanfaatkan waktu yang dikasih Allah sama kita

gue sadar, mungkin gue belom jadi orang yang baik di mata-Nya. gue jarang jalanin amanatnya, gue hanyalah seorang remaja biasa. gue sadar diri gue masih kekanak2an dan disini, gue mau berterima kasih kepada semua orang yang udah ngisi hidup gue hehe
1. my mom and dad, mama papa mungkin aku belom jadi anak yang baik buat kalian tapi aku janji suatu saat aku bakal bikin kalian bangga, itu cita2 aku selama ini meski kalian gabisa liat ini, aku mau bilang aku sayang bgt sama kalian, maaf sering bikin kalian kesel selama ini
2. semua temen2 gue, disini gue mencoba menjelaskan satu2 yaa semua orang yang berharga buat gue and maaf bgt yang gada disini bukan berarti aku gasayang kalian tapi orang2 yang ada disini adalah org2 yang aku anggep ngebantu aku bgt selama ini ngebantu aku ngelewatin tahap yang namanya 'pendewasaan'
*Yania : ini orang yang paling sabar ngadepin gue pas smp ahahaha gue salut banget sama pikiran dia yang jauh kedepan bukan ngeliat 'saat ini' dia kalo ngmng blak2an dan berkatnya gue bisa ngambil makna dari kehidupan ini
*Anggi : si anak kecil 94 ini ngmng suka kadang gadipikir -_- anak nya gila, selalu berusaha bantuin gue buat cheer me up kalo ada masalah, gue kasian ngeliat dia sekarang yg gampang nangis, dia itu paling sering nyembunyiin perasaan dia
*Clara : ini temen gue dari kls 7, selalu sabar sama sifat cengeng gue pas smp :p meski skrg gue udah jarang bgt contact sama dia, gue gakan lupain nih orang, orangnya dewasa bgt, dia sering ngasih nasehat tanpa memihak salah satupun pihak, good girl :)
*Sesha : dia ini orangnya polos atau lebih bisa diblg cuek? tapi berkat dia gue bisa belajar gimana caranya supaya ga terlalu ngelebay in masalah yang gue hadepin, gue bisa belajar dari dia gimana caranya mandiri
*Utha : ini nih pencipta bahasa2 baru haha dia paling bisa bikin orang ketawa, meski gue jarang ketemu dia ini anak gokil bgt ngangenin bgt ahahaha
*Lulu : gue suka lulu yang sekarang, lulu yang bisa ngeekspresiin feeling dia kyk gimana, gue suka sedih liat dia kalo lg ada masalah sama pacarnya, dia orangnya simple, temen curhatan gue kalo di perjalanan pulang haha
*Nadya putri : ini orang sinting bisa dibilang, gue bakal ngangenin dia banget karna bentar lg dia bakal pindah ke malaysia, the best bgt kalo ngasih sarn bikin gue tenang bgt dan berkat ke gilaan dia gue bisa lupain masalah2 gue hehe
*Baiq : temen a.k.a suami gue, ini orang pendengar yang baik bgt, orangnya simple ganeko2 dan tempat curhat yang paling enak banget berkat sikap kepremanan dia gue merasa tenang bgt kalo lg jalan sama dia hehehe ily my hushband! at least but not last sang photographer :p
*Gisela : ini orang tempramen, ngomong suka ga dijaga dan kalo orang nyari masalah sama dia bisa babak belur hahaha tapi semua kata2 dia jadi kenyataan dan gue salut akan kepercaya dirian dia, meski kadang dongkol gue sayang ama nih panda hoho
*Nada : gue jarang ketemu sama dia tapi gue sayang bgt sama dia dri dulu hehe dia sering bgt bantuin gue ttg lovestory gue meski sempet ada masalah kemaren gue sama sekali gapernah mau berantem sama dia, she's the best (Y)
*Althaf : ini orang temenan sama gue dari 2 tahun yang lalu tp kita sekalipun gapernah ketemuan, gue sayang sama dia sebagai sahabat, dia pendengar dan pemberi saran yang baik, dan pengingat gue untuk bener2 pilih2 cowo seblum jadian ahaha thankyou thaf

masih banyak nama2 lainnya yang gabisa gue jelasin satu persatu maaf yaaaa tapi aku sayang kalian semuaaaaaaaaaaa♥♥♥
aku sering bgt mikir ada ga sih orang yang sayang sama gue? kadang gue sedih aja gue bingung mau cerita sama siapa kalo down, terkadang ada yg lupa ultah gue dan terkadang sering ada masalah yang ga terkira2 bgt sama sahabat2 gue. tapi gue bener2 seneng bgt ketika gue putus sama seseorang yang berinisialkan H gue sangat2 down parah dan gue seneng bgt terharu bgt saat temen2 gue bilang bahwa mereka sayang sama gue dan mereka semua cheer me up sambil gabosen2 dengerin gue nangis terus ketika gue gamasuk sekolah gue kira gada yang peduli akan kehadiran gue tapi ternyata begitu pada blg mereka kangen sama gue sumpah gue terharu bgt gue seneng bgt akan hal2 sepele seperti itu, meskipun sepele tp itu berharga bgt buat gue :') selama ini gue bingung temen gue sebenernya siapa, jaman sekarang nemuin temen yang bener2 temen itu bener2 susah -.- tp selalu ada orang yang nyemangatin gue dari belakang temen yang ga ngelupain temen nya temen yang gakan nusuk dari belakang, buat nama2 diatas gue mau makasih bgt udah jadi temen gue selama ini gue sayanggggg bgt sama kalian semua :D gue teringat akan saat2 gue jadian sama H, itu orang bener2 ngajarin gue cara buat jadi dewasa, dia sering blg 'liat dari 2 sisi jangan dari 1 sisi aja' atau 'setiap perbuatan yang dilakuin ke aku, aku bakal bales 2 kali lipat, kalo dia baik sama aku aku bakal baik 2 kali lipat tapi kalo dia jahat sama aku, aku bisa bales berkali kali lipat supaya dia tau apa yang aku rasain' dan dia juga sering ngmng 'dunia tuh ga baik yang kamu kira, dunia tuh kejam' gue mau berterima kasih sama dia yang udah ngajarin gue banyak hal meski dia gabisa liat blog ini dan gue udah ga berhubngan apapun sama sekali dengan dia ngmng jg bahkan gapernah haha gue yang dulu takut bgt akan perpisahan dari suatau hubungan tapi gue yang sekarang udah mulai bisa belajar dewasa, udah mulai ga gampang emosian begitu denger suatu masalah, udah bisa ngeliat sesuatu dari 2 sisi dll. terakhir ketika gue pacaran dengan seseorang yg berinisial F mungkin bisa diblg putus secara baik2 ga seperti cara2 putus gue yg sebelumnya, meski dimata org dia jelek entah kenapa gue masih bersimpati ke dia bukan karna gue gapercaya berita2 buruk ttg dia tp karna emg gue udah tau dia apadanya dan gue malah pengen ngebantu dia keluar dari masalah dia, tapi yg bisa gue lakuin sekarang gue cuma bisa doain buat dia,sekarang gue suka sama seseorang tapi dia bisa diblg gasadar akan perasaan gue dan mungkin akan sulit buat gue kalo seandainya gue jadian sama dia dikarenakan terlalu banyak perbedaan tp gue yang sekarang pengen lebih bisa nikmatin saat ini apa adanya, ga terlalu bermimpi akan jauh hari, bersyukur akan apa yang telah gue dapat selama ini, dan seandainya dia jodoh gue hanya Allah yang tau kelanjutan akan rasa suka ini gimana hehe btw doain gue jadian ya semoga orang ini bisa sayang sama gue apa adanya amin makasih buat yang mau denger pikiran gue ini ahahaha bosen2 deh baca post segini panjang :p bye byeeee

late update :p

2009-10-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

ooooooooooh i'm so so sorry for the really late update ahahaha belakangan ini gue jarang ol :p maaf yaaaaaaaa :3

hemmmm the new news about me apa ya ahahaha maybe this :
1. gue baru potong poni gue jadi rataaa dan baiq bersorak riang gembira begitu mendengar gue potong poni (saya tidak mengerti kenapa dia sangat tidak suka saya belah tengah ahahaha) dan sekarang okay gue akuin muka gue 'agak' mencina kembali hem
2. gue sebentar lagi bagi rapot dan tidak dapat diragukan gue yakin nilai2 gue jeblok semua -_- alamat gaboleh pergi buat soulnation nanti sama antic nice bgt ahaha
3. hey hey hey i'm falling in loveeeeeeee ahahah wish me luck ya gue jadian ehehe cerita tentang dia mungkin akan gue ceritakan di posting yang berbeda ahahah doain gue jadian ya sama dia aminaminamin
4. gue ga terlalu ngerti belakangan ini kenapa gue sering bgt bernostalgia, mengingat semua kejadian masa lalu, mulai dari masa2 smp apalagi fujin! oh i miss you guys so much :'( terus masa2 kelas2 ilp apalagi TE-A yang kelasnya terdiri dari gurunya mr. juna, gue, chiki, cheryl, ericko, hilda, vado, mbak chika dan geri, keinget mulu pas kita bikin drama huhuhu meskipun skrg masih brg tp tetep aja suasanya nya udah beda karna cheryl mr.juna mbak chika udah gada dan ditambah temen2 baru :( terus gue kangen masa2 bebasnya kelas 10 huhu itu enak bgt gue gamau kelas 3 aaaaaaaa -_______- terus sialnya gue inget masa2 gue jadian dengan org2 dimasa lalu gue hem ada yang sedih ada yang seneng tp nyesek sendiri kalo inget ahha banyak bgt deh moment2 yang gabakal gue lupain sumpah2 hehe
5. entah kenapa gue yang biasanya selow sama masalah belakangan ini mulai sensitive lagi deh -.- gue mulai emosian parno an dll apa gara2 lagi berhalangan ya? hem i'll try to take it easy, dan gue mulai kesel makin banyak org2 mengesalkan belakangan ini karna gabisa jaga mulut mereka, kalo gasuka tuh blg aja atau ga gausah nyari tau ttg gue, to the point aja gue gasuka gue lebih suka gt dibanding yg manis di depan busuk dibelakang, okay? gue diem aja belagak gatau tp bukan berarti gue gapunya kesabaran ahaha jangan coba2 bikin gue emosi karna lo gatau apa yg bakal lo rasain okay?
6. i cant waiiiiiiiiiit for my birthday! masih sebulan lagi sih cuma tetep ajaaaaa papa give me a ipod touch or ipod nano for the birthday present! pleasepleaseplease huhuhu :( semoga taun ini lebih baik dari taun sebelumnya ehehehe dan entah kenapa masih jadi mimpi gue bgt deh gue ditembak pas ultah ahahaa mimpi dari dulu yg ga kesampean wkwkw :p
7. i really really want a photosession! or photo by myself or with friends or whatever gue lagi sangat sangat ingin berfoto ahahaha udah pede lagi buat foto karna udah ada poni wkwkw :p hey i miss all my friends so much -.-
8. daaaaaan saya sangat bingung dengan lovelife saya ahaha gue yang dulu kyk nya welcome2 aja ngeladenin org yg suka sama gue tp gue yg skrg gabisa, gue udah capek buat pacaran serius ya? guecuma ngeladenin org yang gue suka entah mengapa, dan kenapa dia gapekaaaaaaaa sumpah dodolnya dirinya -__________-

hahaha maybe only like this yaaa i'll try to keep updating my blog, hope you dont get bored to view my blog hehe see youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

the end

2009-09-22T11:24:00.002-07:00

i already know someday this day will come
i already know someday you will ask that words
and i already know your feeling from the first i know you

i can understand you
now, fly away from me
find your happiness

i think i can replace her
i think i can changed you so much better
but thats only a dream which never come true

so deep inside when you said that
but i only show that i'am strong
i dont want to crying like a baby

eventhough its only a short time
but your already steal my heart
but i can only forget you now

now i dont have to worry if someone want to steal you from me
because you doesnt mine anymore
deep in my heart, i've been hurt badly

but i give you a freedom
just take your life back like when you never meet me
i see your from here, from a long distance

hoping you happily ever after with her
i always hope for your best
i'm happy if you feeling happy

i just want to say
if you really love her, just look into her
dont find another love to hide your feeling

i support you from here
wishing all the best faith come into you
dont worry about me, i'm okay..

thanks for everthing you do to me
thanks for our sweet memories
sorry i cant be a great girlfriend for you
thanks for loving me because who i am
good bye............ :')

late posting :p

2009-09-19T19:50:00.001-07:00

eventhough it is too late to post but i wanna tell you us about my first month anniversarry with Firza Putra Pratama

150909
Gue kira bakal melewatkan satu bulanan dengan perasaan sedih dan gondok karna belakangan ini kita lagi berantem terus, semua tentang firza gue ceritain ke Gisela, Nada & Ical, mereka (Y) bangeeet, nah jadi ceritanya siang2nya gue smsan sama firza dan masih dalam kondisi bt bt an, gue gakuat berantem terus gue curhat sama gisela, dan herannya tuh anak biasanya kasih saran eh sekarang cuma ngmng 'sabar, sabar ghin' hmm terus gue sms firza blg mau tidur karna pusing kepala gue berantem terus dan capek nangis sekalian minta izin temen2 ilp pada mau kerumah buat latian drama, terus gue bangun2 langsung latian drama dan gue pulang ilp jam setengah 10 an tiba2 firza sms, gue bingung mau bales apa ngga, nah disaat yang sama gue inget ical bakal ngasih gue berita, gue sms dia , dia cuma blg 'sabar ghin ntar malem aja' tanda tanya dong? gue penasaraaan hahaha terus mungkin gara2 gue lama gabales firza telfoon, dia nanya lagi dimana dll terus minta gue bales smsnyaa, yaudah smsan kannn, nah tumben2 nya firza bilang hari ini mau begadang ga? padahal firza paling gasuka kalo gue begadaaang, yaudah gue begadang kan hehehe nah tiba2 udah smsan lama dia gabales lagi terus tiba2 telfon 'ghin, liat ke balkon deh' 'hah? ngapain? balkon aku kotor ah hahaha' 'udaaaah liat aja' 'yaudah2' dan gue speechless pas liat dia dibawah O.O dia nyuruh gue turun langsung gedebak gedebuk gue kebawah hahaha dan ternyataaaaaa........ ada gisel dan ical juga! pantesan aja tuh anak 2 cuma ngmng sabar2 doang hahaha gue langsung nyamperin firza ganyangka dia dateng langsung peluuuuuuuuuk dia blg 'maaf ya gabawa apapa, buru2, oia kan aku sengaja marah2 demi hari ini haha' eventhough he didnt bring anything its enough i can meet him :3 dan goblok nya gue blg 'kok kamu ngasih surprise duluan sih? aku padahal bikin surprise juga' emang dasar gue dodol -_____- nah terus masuk kerumah, ngobrol2 blablabla

160909
hari ini gue blg sama firza gue udah mudik kekeke :p gue emg udah ngerencanain dari lama mau bikin suprise hehe jadi rencananya gini : gue mau bikin kue tart buat dikasih ke dia dan dateng tiba2 ke tongkrongan dia bareng gisel nada dan ical, siang2 gue beli bahan2 buat bikin tart, kerumah gisel, ical jemput nada terus jemput gue dan gisel TAPIIIIIIIIII omg kue tart bikinan gue gagal 3 kali -___- parah mau nangis gueeeeeeee anja itu udah mati2an buatnya huhuhu akhirnya gue dan gisel memutuskan untuk beli kue, nada aku bingung dia jadi apa ngga soalnya kata ical ada bukpus brg yaudah kita liat kondisinya nanti hehe terussssss kita minta ical jemput di ilp veteran, terus go to bsd, nah disitu ical ngmng sama firza supaya ke gardu , bilangnya sih ical minta temenin firza ke 10dencies tapi dikarnakan kondisi gardu yg sepi akhirnya firza ke ck untungnya disana ada caca jadi firza ga pulang, gue gisel ical beli kue dulu mana macet lagi yaampun.... udah deg degan aja kalo firza pulang atau gardu rame atau dll..... :S nah ical menyusun rencana : ghin, gue samperin firza suruh ke mobil, lo nyalain lilin giliran firza udah mau deket lo keluar mobil samperin dia ya, yaudah ical keluar mobil, dan goblok nya gue keluar lilin mati berkali2 karna angin yg kenceng... gue udah teriak2 panik deg degan kalo gagal gmn..... mana kuenya udah mau jatoh pula -.- akhirnya gue sama gisel panik teriak2 dimobil nyari lighter ical balik akhirnya nyalain lilin lagi terus ke ck manggil firza, dan alhamdulillah kali ini lilin ga mati, pas firza udah deket gue keluar bawa kue, dia kaget liat gue ngomong 'lho? kok? kok kamu disini? katanya mudik?' mukanya lucu banget speechless kaget salting gt hihihi :3 dia bener2 ganyangka mungkin ya gue dateng karna mungkin mikir surprise gue gabakal jadi hehehe happy one month anniversarry ya sayaaaaang

eh iyaaaaaa hari ini kan lebaran nih

SEMUANYA MINAL AIDIN WAL FAIDZIN YAAAA MOHON MAAF LAHIR DAN BATIN, MAAFIN GHINA YA KALO ADA SALAH SELAMA INI BAIK YANG DISENGAJA ATAU GA SENGAJA HEHEHE XOXO

confused

2009-09-14T13:44:00.002-07:00

why i should have this personality...
eventhough this is my fault or not, i feeling guilty
i dont want to have a problem with everyone in a long time
i have my own way, i have a feeling
and i can angry if i dont like something
but at least i only can silent or keeping that only in my heart and brain
i dont want other people feel resentful like i have
i thinking the best way for us
that is have several distance from you when i'm angry
i'm scared if i angry to you i can screaming over you like crazy
but you said that i blame all our problem on you
maybe the 'ordinary' me is only can cry if you get angry with me
but didnt you think once, i have my patience limit
i can said i'm more sensitive than the 'ordinary' me
i dont care if you cheat behind me, you have sex with other girl or something like that
i already know you, i can accept you like who you are
i only want you care to me, a little bit
please look from other side, not one side,
all of my sacrifice to you from beginning until now....

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2009-09-13T21:24:00.001-07:00

DAMN!!!
NO MORE MS. GOOD GIRL
I CAN BE ANGRY TOO

fortune teller

2009-09-12T21:38:00.002-07:00

eh eh eh kan ada ya di fb yang fortune teller jenius, iseng2 gue nanya beberapa pertanyaan :

1. how long i and my boyfriend can be together?

-> it may be, but think a lot about it

2. can my boyfriend cheat behind me?
-> NO

3. can my boyfriend loyal to me?
-> nop

(jadi yang bener antara nomer 2 dan 3 itu yang mana -_-)

4. can my boyfriend changed his habbit, not like before he meet me?
->And what do you think about it? I think go ahead!

5. am i give a positive things to my boyfriend or negative?
-> YES

sooooooooo, gue gatau yang bener itu yang mana hahaha iseng2 berhadiah ye? percaya aja yega? hahaha :3

trusting someone

2009-09-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

hey boy, i know i can trust you
i can see you alteration and i'm so happy you can act like what you said
not only a lot of bullshit like other boys said
maybe sometimes we have an argument and makes us enough
but at least all we have to do is believe each other
no matter everyday i see a lot of girl come over you
but i know your response to them and i said its okay
you able to trust, you can take care your self
because of that i proud of you
dont ever make my trust over you is gone, i miss you♥

song at the moment

2009-09-12T07:42:00.003-07:00

hey playboy
its about time
and your time’s up
I had to do this one for my girls you know
sometimes you gotta act like you don’t care
that’s the only way you boys learn
(2NE1 - i dont care)

Waiting for your call, I'm sick
call, I'm angry
call, I'm desperate for your voice.
I'm listening to the song we used to sing in the car.
Do you remember, butterfly, early summer?
It's playing on repeat...
Just like when we would meet.
(secondhand serenade - Your Call)

You told me
There's no need
To talk it out
Cause it's too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words

No looking back
I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken
But still I have to say
(Ashley tisdale - its alright its okay)

Bittersweeeet,
You're gonna be the death of me
I don't want you, but I need you,
I love you and hate you at the very same time
(Kanye West - Bittersweet)

Maybe it's just me.
Couldn't you believe that everything I said and did
wasn't just deceiving?
And the tear in your eye,
and your calm, hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place.
(secondhand serenade - maybe)

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
(avril lavigne - when your gone)

i never once forget about you,
i only thought of you
then how about you?
did you forget about me?
tears fall from my eyes
because i feel betrayed
(super junior - happiness english translate)

he's starin' at me
I'm sittin' wonderin' what he's thinkin'
Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'
And now it's I'm yellin' over him, he yellin' over me
All that that means is neither of us is listening

And what's even worse?
That we don't even remember why we're fighting
So both of us are mad for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothin', crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got
(ne yo - mad)

cant angry, only can keep that feeling inside and sharing them into a few words of music, hope everythings gonna be alright

a little of my feeling for you

2009-09-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

i dont care about your past
i dont care what people said about you
i believe in you
i already know who's you in the past
and i know your life like what
but i dont care all of that
i trust my feeling to you

sometimes i confused is this love or not
sometimes i feel angry to you
sometimes i annoyed you
and sometimes i feel so jealous to all girl around you
but once again,
i believe in you
no matter how far we are
i can only hope that you'll be fine wherever you are

maybe i stupid
maybe i'm too much
i know i cant hope too much
i know you dont want to disappointed me
when you said that to me,
i just can speechless
i dont know how long can we stayed together
only can hope and hope

first i knew you i already know your habbits
you said that i can make you change
and i'm thanks to god if i can make you better than before
but its all up to you
i give you a freedom
i dont want to confine you
i just can see over here
and watching what are you doing right now

not only you have a bad past, i did it
love was sharing happiness and pain
when you are beside me for the first time,
i can forget my pain in past because of you
and i wish i can love you
but i dont know what happen next

deep in my heart,
i want you to show me your me your love
just a little, just a few words
i know now we are changed
but i hope we can be like before
before we like this
3 more words,
i love you

1st post

2009-09-10T09:30:00.000-07:00

wah ini first post gue, gue bingung mau nulis apa jadi gue mau ceritain aja hari ini gue ngapain aja ya haha

hari ini hari pertama gue halangan di bulan puasa ini, kebetulan temen gue mau traktir ulang tahun dia di sency, nah disini banyak bgt kejadian kocak hahaha yang dateng ke acara ini lumayan banyak dan bukan cuma anak sekolah gue doang, gue bingung apa emg kita semua ini banci kamera atau apa, setiap ada kamera kita semua langsung heboh gatau tempat gt hehehe yaa kalo gue sih gue akuin gue emg banci kamera wkwkwk yang paling parah itu pas kita di Burger King, kita masuk2 ke tempat mainan anak2 kecil gt cuma untuk foto2, semua orang ngeliatin apalagi mas2 dan mbak2nya, mungkin takut roboh kali ya mengingat bagaimana bentuk tubuh kita2 disana hahaha satu kamera aja ada 230 foto, belom di 2 kamera lainnya dan file2 foto di laptopnya iqbal ckckck parah, ga cewe ga cowo banci kamera semua -___- oh iya jadi inget, pas gue mau masuk ke Burger King nya, gue ngelewatin tempat yg acara2 dufan gt kan, gue jalan sampingan sama Lulu, Nadya dibelakang, tiba2 ada yg ngerangkul gue sama lulu, gue kira nadya,eh pas liat tangan sama kerasa berat badannya ternyata.................. om om bule pake baju ninja! mana item2 semua, gue teriak kaget kenceng banget, lulu ikutan kaget hahaha tuh bule juga melotot abis itu salaman ama nadya wakakaka masih deg2an gue shock gt tiba2 dirangkul -.- firza jangan ngambek ya, aku ga selingkuh kok hehe

ngomongin firza jadi kangen gue sama dia seharian ga contact gara2 gada pulsa, hem pulsa emg jadi masalah anak2 jaman sekarang yaaa ckckck but i believe in him, gue percaya dia gangapa2in selama gue lost contact :) ♥♥♥